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 Her body was plump in its cocoon of frailty. Well-fed. Curvaceous. Buxom. She was big but not the way you'd think. She had the same proportions as your average girl but with a large head and enormous feet and with about four inches above average height. Which she thought was perfect, and sometimes it was. But she was a sickly woman. Her wrists creaked and popped and her ribs trembled and bumped one another and minor head trauma resulted in uncontrollable twitching. She thought this started the day she realized she was becoming old but in reality it started when she found that in all of the pictures of her childhood heroes, they looked lost and alone and they were her idols because she identified with them, thus becoming the first indication that she would be lonely for the rest of her life. This is how it started for her. It Began with carpets and yellow or blue or pink walls and ceilings and blankets That She stared up at for hours. She Cried When She wanted Attention. She Thought She cried too much But really she cried Less Than MOST people did.
She watched television to learn Before she started going to school, and her Parents fed her and held her and Offered her a toothbrush after she puked in the toilet. She Cried When She still throw up Because It hurts and Its Unfamiliar and she's tired.
She Went to school and the days got Longer and harder, and she stopped drawing and started writing But Not the way she liked to. She tried to Be Heard and she Laughed When adults laugh, But She Did not get the jokes, andshe wasn't nervous and she Fell asleep in the car.

She Went to high school, and Nothing was Serious And Then, Suddenly, everything was Serious. She Did not like your friends. She Did not want to be alone. For the rest of her life, she wanted someone to want her and she Fell in love too early with the first person Who Told her she was beautiful. They Were still ashamed of her, But They Touch Her When They Were alone and that's all she wanted from Them. Meant That She Thought They loved her, But Later she Realized That She Was Wrong.

She Went to college, But it wasn't as good as the College That Went To everyone else, and she Paid fifty dollars to take a ceramics class That she never used But she enjoyed it for the semester. She Worked at Several

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may be able to be in love today. Just getting out of bed, put clothes and survive.

Andrew Allen New York Bellmore Lllegó Christmas? And I with these hairs